“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city” (Proverbs 16:32)
“The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters and the well spring of wisdom as a flowing brook” (Proverbs 18:4)
“The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the broken hearted to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind to set at liberty them that are bruised” (Luke 4:18)
As far back as 2008, I got into a relationship which I believed would culminate in marriage. Unfortunately, in spite of all my efforts to settle in 2009, after the traditional marriage and church wedding dates were already fixed, my fiancée then, walked up to me suggesting that the dates be postponed. In my opinion, I didn’t see any cogent reason to agree with her. As a matter of fact I got worried, and that compelled me to pray earnestly about the issue. The long story short, sometime later I got to find out that my fiancée had found someone she considered better, and chose to cheat on me. That’s how that engagement ended, leaving me with a lot of hurt on the inside. I felt the whole world was against me, it seemed I had gotten to the end of the road of life. I managed to gather the broken pieces of my life together, and resolved to seek God for the way forward. It took me almost a year to get back to my feet. During that time, I spent much of my time alone with God and His Word, because I understood that even if everything and everyone was to fail, God’s Word wouldn’t. In those days of darkness, disappointment, discouragement and despair, God’s light suddenly exploded within me, and I saw God’s biblical prescription on how to gain mastery over HURT. So what I’m about sharing with you are priceless biblical truths that would help anyone gain mastery over hurt.
The word hurt can take any of the following definitions:
- To cause physical pain to somebody or yourself.
- To feel painful.
- To make somebody unhappy or upset.
- To have a bad effect on somebody or something.
- To be in a difficult situation because you need something, especially money.
- To be upset and offended by something that somebody has said or done.
- A feeling of unhappiness because somebody has been unkind or unfair to you.
An abridgment of the aforementioned definitions will leave us with the fact that hurt is a feeling on the inside of having been offended by someone or something. It’s an emotion; it’s a feeling caused by pain. Hurt, being a negative emotion, injures and amplifies your feelings negatively. Generally, once a person is hurt, the first tendency would be the thought of fighting back (retaliation). The reason for this action is because the person hurt is trying to raise a protective wall around his/her feelings. This is, however a wrong attitude. What needs rather to be protected when you’re hurt is your future, destiny and not your feelings. There seems to be a problem here! Have you ever asked yourself why people who are hurt try to protect their feelings instead of their future and destiny which are paramount? The answer to this question is simple. They have allowed their emotions to dominate their lives. Only people whose emotions dominate their lives will manifest such an attitude when hurt.
POSSIBLE CAUSES OF HURT
Different people are hurt, or have been hurt in different ways by different things or persons at different times and seasons. In my own case I was hurt by a broken engagement. Some possible causes of hurt may include:
- Marital breakdown (divorce)
- A broken relationship
- Disappointment in different domains of life
- Lack of parental care at childhood
- Deception and Delusion
- An untold truth that was discovered later
- Abuse of confidence
- Sexual abuse
- Drug addiction
- The past life (that is, prostitution, drunkenness, etc.)
A lot of people have hurt themselves. I just defined hurt as a physical pain caused to somebody or yourself. Those who have hurt themselves did so by thinking that God is the cause of their backwardness or problems in life. They become offended with God. Such an attitude will create a hurt within which will result to some sort of hardness of heart towards believing on God. I must let you know that if there’s any person you shouldn’t be offended with, it’s God, you can’t dare to be offended with your maker, God. He’s your only source. Every other thing you have is His resource which He has made available for you. Being offended with Him means not being in good terms with your only source. Just imagine what becomes of a person whose only source is closed. Surely, such a person will become lifeless in the shortest time possible.
SOME POSSIBLE DANGERS OF HURT
Just like every other negative emotion, if tolerated longer than due, hurt will exert some negative trails on the lives of its victims, among which are the following:
- Hurt will rob you of the Supernatural Presence of God
- Hurt will rob you of everything that God has promised you
- Hurt causes pains and emotional wounds
- Hurt will injure you enough inside
- Hurt will take you away from the Word of God
- Hurt will cause brokenness of the mind
- Hurt attracts the spirit of suicide
These and lots more can affect the physical being of a man. They can cause sicknesses and in some severe cases they can lead to untimely death.
A QUESTION WORTH ASKING: HOW DO I OVERCOME HURT?
Having a mastery over hurt or overcoming hurt is a matter of choice. You need to make up your mind, take a decision to be free from every form of hurt irrespective of its cause and duration. That was exactly what I did, even though it took me almost a year; but the most important thing is that God helped me through His Word and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. You have to let hurt go and release (forgive) all those who have hurt you. Jesus teaches us that clearly when He says: “For if ye FORGIVE men their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you [Matthew 6:14]. In another instance He says: “And when ye stand praying, FORGIVE, if ye have ought again any; that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses” [Mark 11:25]. Reechoing the words of Jesus in a different way, Paul tells us that: “Forbearing one another, and FORGIVING ONE ANOTHER, if any man have a quarrel against any; even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye” [Colossians 3:13].
Beloved, if you’re ever going to make progress in life, you need to deal with what hurts you; what has hurt you and what is hurting you; and the key to doing that is UNCONDITIONAL FORGIVENESS. You can’t build a new building on the hurt foundation. If you do, it will surely become dilapidated. Your ability to overcome your hurt is a clear indication that you have dominion over your emotions. Israel, according to God’s plan, was supposed to take a 40 days journey in order to get to the Promised Land. But they prolonged their journey which instead took 40 years. This was because they allowed their negative emotions to dominate them. They were led by their emotions instead of God. The consequence was that they went back into bondage. You see dear friend, anytime you allow your negative emotions to rule your life, you shut the door for God’s leading in your life; an attitude which will prolong your staying in a particular place or situation. Your inability to dominate your emotions will take you back into bondage.
However, freedom from every hurt doesn’t come only by laying of hands, it comes through training. Train yourself to have authority over your negative emotions. Study the Word of God and let your thinking be in line with it. Since your emotions depend on what you think they’ll automatically lineup with your thinking which is the Word of God. Your number one enemy isn’t Satan; it’s your negative emotions. If you overcome them you’ll certainly be setting a stage for yourself to successfully enforce Christ’s victory over the devil and his activities against your life.
I don’t know who has hurt you, when and how; but you have to take a decision today to be free and to receive grace to henceforth have a mastery over every subsequent hurt. I will deal with more on this on my next post.
ANANG’S PRINCIPLES OF GAINING MASTERY OVER HURT
- Know who you’re – you’re a spirit being, who possesses a soul and live in a body.
- Your thinking determines the kind of emotions that rule your life.
- Your direction in life is determined by the kind of emotions that rule you.
- The type of information you receive daily will determine the kind of emotions you’ll possess and whether they’ll control you or vice
- Identify the source of your negative emotions and deal with them from their source.
- The greatest change you can do in a relationship is to change yourself, not to try to change somebody else.
- Say no to the lies of the devil.
- The ability to change your circumstances doesn’t reside in you, it comes from Jesus.
- Avoid trying to change somebody to be like you, because you’re not better than that person.
- Learn to acknowledge your weaknesses.
- Know your God-given right to command and rule.
Dear friend, it’ll be practically impossible without the help of Jesus to have mastery over hurt, given that He has made it clear in His Word that “…without me ye can do nothing” [John 15:5]. What you need right now in case you’re not in a relationship with Jesus is to enter into one with Him, given that the ability to change your circumstances doesn’t reside in you, it comes from Him. You can do that by simply praying the following prayer of faith:
“Dear God, according to Romans 4:25, I believe in my heart that Jesus died for my sins, and rose again to make me right with you, in order to fill me with your goodness. I also confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord. Today, I accept Jesus into my heart as my Personal Lord and Saviour.
In accordance with Romans 10:10, which say if I believe with my heart and confess with my mouth, I will be saved, I know that from now henceforth: I am born again; I am a new creation in Christ, old things are passed away, behold, all things have become new. I have the very life of God in me; I am God’s righteousness in Christ. I am lifted with Christ and together we are seated in heaven at the right hand of the Father, far, far above principalities and powers. Just as Christ is, so am I in this world, in Jesus’ Name”. Amen.
Congratulations! You’re now born again. Welcome to God’s supernatural family built on the foundation that’s Christ. I’m certain that you have been blessed by this piece. Please, don’t hesitate to leave your comment and recommend this site to someone you love and care for. You can also send me a direct mail through firstname.lastname@example.org in order to share some spiritual issues that are bothering you, bearing in mind that your spiritual welfare is my utmost concern. Follow me on twitter @prosperanang. I love you and I’m praying for you. You’re deeply loved, highly favoured and greatly blessed. Remain forever blessed in Christ.
Jesus is Lord!