4 Pitfalls of Rejection

“However, those the Father has given me will come to me, and I WILL NEVER REJECT THEM” [John 6:37 NLT].

The promise of Christ [God] in our opening verse is very clear: “I will never reject those who come to me”. Did you hear that? There are people who will reject you, but always refer to the person whose word you know and He has promised never to reject you. You see, emotions are feelings on the inside caused by pains or pleasures with the sole purpose to move us in a certain direction. Rejection is one of the negative emotions we all have to deal with. It’s a feeling.

Rejection Defined

Rejection is the feeling that: you’re not loved or accepted; you don’t belong to; you’re not included by those in whose association you desire to be. It’s the feeling that you’re not good enough. It’s a sinking feeling that everyone is better than you.

One of the problems with rejection is that it’ll always lead to low self esteem. Satan uses rejection, as he has always done, to move many people away from the plan of God.

The human race is caught in the trap of showing a tendency of the fear of being rejected; and because of this fear of being rejected, even though you’re ready to do something, go somewhere, or talk to somebody, you can’t, rather you send somebody else ahead to talk about you first, before you come. It’s simply a fight that goes on within you because of the fear of being rejected. The fear to hear NO!

Beloved, we’re surrounded everyday by the potential of rejection. At times, as a Christian, you may lurch on people who will reject your God. The pertinent question worth answering is, “what are you going to do with the potential of rejection which surrounds you every day?” In an attempt to answer this question, I’d suggest that every true believer must cultivate an attitude that refuses and says “No” to the feelings of rejection. The failure to do that will result to great dangers in the lives of those concerned.

Rejection, unlike hurt, is based on fear, and comes with a lot of pitfalls.

Pitfall #1: Inability to Move Forward

The fear of being rejected will definitely stop you from moving forward. Moses had this problem; the fear of being rejected by both pharaoh and the children of Israel.

How did I get that fact? I saw it in the dialogue that took place between God and Moses, which resulted in God mandating Moses to secure Israel’s freedom from the Egyptian slavery. Take a look at this in order to understand my point: “And the LORD said, I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt… come now therefore and I will send thee unto Pharaoh, that thou mayest bring forth my people the children of Israel. And Moses said unto God, who am I that I should go unto Pharaoh and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt? And Moses said unto God, behold when I come unto the children of Israel, and shall say unto them, the God of thy father hath sent  unto you; and they shall say to me, what is his name? What shall I say unto them? [Exodus 3:10-11, 3].

 This questions asked by Moses seemed appealing, but I’d say it emanated from a life that was dominated by the fear of being rejected, the fear of hearing “No”. Just to remind you that up to this point Moses wasn’t able to advance or move forward as far as the commencement of his mission was concerned.

Pitfall # 2: Compromise for Conformity

The word compromise means changing the question to fit the answer. Compromise will occur whenever you disregard your value to be accepted by somebody else. The fear of rejection pushes people to compromise so as to conform to their environment or society. This will only get you into bondage because your whole life will be lived depending on what people’s opinion.

The fear of being rejected pushed Aaron to compromise for conformity, even when his action meant going contrary to God’s Word, just because he was bent on pleasing the people. As a matter of fact, he was pushed to do something that suits the demand of the people not God. God’s Word recorded that “And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron and said unto him, up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what is become of him…” [Exodus 32:1-3].

King Saul had a similar problem of the fear of being rejected. The instruction he received from Samuel was clear; he was to wait for Samuel whose responsibility it was to offer sacrifices [1Samuel 13:8]. However, we’re told that “Because Samuel delayed to come for the sacrifice King Saul was pressed by the people. He complied with their demand and offered sacrifice in the place of Samuel” [1Samuel 13:8-9].

In responding to Samuel, listen to Saul’s answer: “And Saul said, because I saw that the people were scattered from me, and that thou camest not within the days appointed, and that the philistines gathered themselves together at Michmash. I forced myself therefore, and offered a burnt offering” [1Samuel 13:11-12].

Saul acted this way because the people threatened to reject him from being their King if he hadn’t complied.

Pitfall #3: Exposure to Exploitation

Allowing yourself to be dominated by the feelings of rejection will expose you to exploitations. Being exposed to exploitations is a state in which you’re willing to do anything in order to be accepted, even if it means leaving the control of your life to someone else. It’s a state in which you hand the steering wheel of your life and allow somebody else to drive you. You go anywhere he takes you, whether it suits you or not and do whatever he says, whether good or bad.

You say to yourself, “I’m suffering, so I can do anything I can to get accepted”. That’s the devil’s suggestion.

No! You’re not going to do anything just because you want to be accepted in marriage, business, and your family. Even if everybody rejects, there is someone who says he has accepted you. It’s God! With Him, you’re the majority.

Pitfall #4: Loss of Your Identity

Rejection will make you to lose a sense of your “self”, and when that happens, you’ll equally lose your identity. That will turn you to a chameleon. What I mean is that the feeling of being rejected will cause you to develop the ability to change your colour (identity) depending on your surrounding and the people around you. You get to a point in your life where you have no standard for your life; no core values. Your life is patterned depending on what the environment and people hold. All these are as a result of the fear of being rejected.

In spite of all these, I will keep on saying that there’s someone who will never reject you. Always remember that one person has promised not to reject you. It’s Jesus.

His acceptance means heaven’s acceptance. When He accepts your marriage, heaven accepts it as well. When He accepts your business, heaven accepts it. He’s declaring today that, “I’ve accepted you”. Wow!

In my next post, I’m going to share with you three simple steps of faith to take in order to overcome rejection.

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You’re deeply loved, highly favoured and greatly blessed because you’re a life-giving spirit just like Jesus.

Jesus Is Lord!